Have you ever felt overwhelmed by the situation? Have you considered giving up? Life may come with big challenges and walls to put in the road... but if you are able to stay calm and face the adversity, nothing will stop you from achieving your goals
However, staying calm has become a rarity. In this article, we'll go through how to stay calm in the face of adversities. Easy tips to stay calm and own your emotions.
Why Can’t We Stay Calm?
Before giving out solutions, one must understand first the problem. Staying calm has become a challenge for many of us.
The lifestyle, big expectations, and low self confidence, among other factors, build an stressful and speedy environment.
Modern Society Makes it Hard to Stay Calm
Nowadays, it's as if life was set on high-speed. From the very first moment we are born, we are challenged to be the first ones on everything. The first ones to read, write, or do basic maths. The first ones to graduate, get a job, and move out from home.
From this point of view, life is a race. And to win, you need to go as fast as possible.
The problem here? Sometimes we can't go that fast; sometimes we need to slow down, and take some rest to be able to go faster. But life doesn't let us slow down.
When life hits with sudden adversities, we must be able to deal with it. If we are fresh, and rested, we'll work it out. If we are stressed and tired, the adversities will destroy us.
We Can’t Stay Calm Under High Self-Expectations
We live in a competitive world. Data from LBS tell us that, out of all business trying to launch, already 20% fail in their first two years, and only 1/4 are able to survive 15 years or more (source)
It feels like we are constantly competing each other. The better we are and the faster we get to point B, the more competitive we'll be. Although that is ambitious and good for your own sake, it can end up being the worst of your nightmares.
Big self-expectations that lead to obsession and stress. Under situations we can't stay calm. Rather, we need to find a balance in where one is able to build their future, live the present, and stay calm at all times.
The Importance of Being Able to Stay Calm
Being able to stay calm is one of the most benefitial apptitudes you can acquire nowadays. In basically all aspects of your life, one must learn how to stay calm when needed.
Stay Calm to Own your Mind and Emotions
If you stay calm in the face of adversities, your mind will work more clearly. The thoughts won't dissipate, and your mind and emotions will work for you, not against you.
You'll be able to think logically and take decissions accordingly. Staying calm will enable you to see the problem from another perspective. Approach the problem in a more meditated and rational way.
If you are able to stay calm in the face of adversities, you'll own your mind and emotions. And that, is the most powerful tool inside you.
Stay Calm to Give Light when Darkness Dominates
Often, it seems as if everything was going against you and your goals. If your life is uncontrolled, darkness will most likely dominate. Bad thoughts, stress and anxiety, and hopelessness.
Stay calm and turn on the lights inside you. Don't let darkness dominate. Provide clearness to your soul, and get a clear picture of your inside. Reach places in your mind you didn't know existed.
Stay Calm to Face the Bigesst of the Adversities
Life can surprise with sudden adversities. Sometimes these will not be significant enough to mess up your life, but others... very careful.
You never know when and how life will hit you. But if you are able to stay calm, that loses its importance. It won't matter when the adversities knocks on your door. You'll be able to stay calm, think clearly, and fight it.
This is the real importance of staying calm. Being able to face, and fight, the biggest of the adversities life has prepared for us.
How to Stay Calm in the Face of Adversity
So far we've stated the problem and facts to back up the importance of that problem. But how are you going to be able to solve it? - Stay Calm.
In the next 5-10 min, the best ways to learn how to stay calm.
HOW TO STAY CALM:Â
- Meditate 10-15min every day
- Assume some things are out of your control
- Focus on what really matters
- Spend time with yourself
- Go for a walk
- Lower your self-expectations and be realistic
- Stop thinking about the consequences
- Don't forget to live the present
Meditate for 10-15 min Every Day
The ability to stay calm has to do with controlling your emotions. The best practice to achieve that is through introspection and meditation.
Meditate 10-15min. Find a quite and insightful spot. Sit down, close your eyes, and let all your emotions guide you. Control your breathing, be aware of everything occuring inside you.
The firsts practices won't feel right. You won't be able to get too much out of it. But it's the daily practice what makes you a master of meditation.
And once you've mastered it, you'll be much better at controlling your emotions and staying calm.
Assume Not Everything is In Your Control
You like it or not, you are not the only captain of your boat. There are some things you can't control. The weather, internet connection, other people,... and you must include that into your equation.
The first step to stay calm is to assume not everything is in your hands. Once you do that, you can focus on what really is in your hands.
Make it so that if things don't work, at least let it fail because of facts you don't have control over.
But stay calm. You've done everything you could. It was out of your hands.
Focus on What Really Matters
One of the main reasons it's hard to stay calm is due to the ambition and willing to be everywhere, at anytime. We try to cover as much as possible, but sometimes it's simply impossible.
If you want to stay calm, you must focus only on what really matters. Perform an internal analysis and remove all the crap from your mind. Don't let anything that's not important bother you.
This philosophy is mainly influenced by the book The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, by Mark Manson. If you are interested on the message and want to read more about it, this book is a great start point.
Spend Time Alone
Humans are considered a social organism. This is, we need to be surrounded by others. Our happiness partly relies on those close to you. Your surroundings affect your mood, behaviour, and happiness (study).
If you want to stay calm, you need to control your emotions. Spending time alone is, thus, one of the best practices to achieve that. Start a journey of finding out who you really are and what emotions dominate inside you.
With that information, the odds will be in your favour to stay calm in the face of adversity
Take the Habit to Go for a Walk
Walking is the practice of motion at its brightest. It's the most natural way of transport in terms of biology and evolution.
Biology is wise, and walking has, therefore, a lot of benefits. Not ony in our physical health (study), but in our mental health as well (study).
Research done in the U.S found out that, those subjects that walked an average of 2.5miles per day, had a lower mental decline as they aged.
How many times have you been in exams period, and felt exhausted and overwhelmed?
If on those situations you had gone for a walk, it would've felt like a breeze of fresh air. You would've been able to come back refreshed, more calmed, and ready to go back to the study session
As it happens with study, walking can help you stay calm in the face of adversities. It gives you enough time to meditate about the problem, process it, filter it, and get resolutive conclusions.
Walking is the trigger of this workflow. Try to do it in your desk, and the results won't be nearly as good as they would walking.
Lower your Self-Expectations and Be Realistic
Society has a huge influence in our actions. As we live in a competitive world, the expectations put in ourselves tend to be high and ambitious. Not only that, but we usually set very high self expectations as well.
The combination of both inputs lead to very ambitious goals. We try our best until we realize we don't have what's needed to achieve it. And it's at this moment when we fall into the game of comformity.
High self expectations mark an input of stress into your life. A stress that, if not controlled, can set you out of the race. If instead of trying to go for the unreachable goals, you lower your self expectations, you'll be able to live a much more calming and joyful live.
Stop Thinking About the Consequences
Humans tend to start thinking about what would happen if they took the action before they actually take the action. An exercise of speculation and trying to predict the possible fates of the action.
Thinking about the consequences will only put more stress and thoughts in your mind. Stress that is not meant to be there during the early stage of the journey, and it's strong enough to stop you from starting the journey.
However, that stress is not based on something tangible, and can be easily removed.
Stop thinking about the consequences. As they say: "Just Do It".
Don't bother trying to predict the future. If you want to stay calm, live the present and take action. Whatever happens next, happens next. But now is now.
Live in the Present
"Live in the present, and for the future"
Our past is based on memories. Our future, on dreams. It's the present which, based on experiences, we are able to live.
If you want to stay calm, learn to live in the present. Work on your future, but never forget to live the present; enjoy it.
Live every day as if your life had 24h. Live as if tomorrow you wouldn't be here.
Find the balance between your future and present. Give time for both and you'll be able to stay calm in the face of adversities. Ensure your place in life tomorrow, but don't give up your place in life today.
Conclusion
The ability to stay calm has become a rarity. Modern society has set very high standards, building an stressful and speedy environment for us to live in.
However, as they say, "Fake it until you make it". In this post, we've seen some of the best ways to train your mind and stay calm in the face of adversities. Implement them in your life and work on it slowly. Day a day.
